How to Tell if You’re Losing Yourself in Your Relationship
5 questions to ask yourself
There have been two times in my life when I have found myself in relationships where I no longer had any sort of connection to myself. I was able to tell something was wrong, but it was difficult to put a finger on exactly what was happening.
More often than not, I would blame myself. I was too _______ (fat, needy, sensitive, erratic, indecisive). Mostly, I figured there was something about myself that I needed to fix.
It didn’t occur to me that it was more about the context I found myself in rather than who I was as a person that was the issue. That I had slowly taken down boundary after boundary. Until I couldn’t tell where the relationship began and where I ended.
In both instances, it took me way too long to realize what was happening. To realize that these were no longer healthy situations. And to then eventually extract myself from them.
And maybe this has happened to you. You begin a thrilling new relationship with someone who makes you feel things you can’t remember ever feeling. The potential inspires you.
But then slowly, over years or months, you lose pieces of yourself. You convince yourself that you should sacrifice here and there. For the good of the…
